normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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