Duck Duck Cougar?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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