i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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