he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
