Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All the doctor said was why
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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