I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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