I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
