You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
