I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
