I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
