worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
