There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
