Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
