I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
