Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
