Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize