i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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