And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
