so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize