the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
