I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
