I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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