Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
