maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
