And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
