I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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