I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
