I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
