she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need water and some morals
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize