dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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