After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
