If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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