Sponge bath it is.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bring me that man meat
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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