the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
