Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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