cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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