we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
