ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
