He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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