okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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