the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
