Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
