So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
