I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
