what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
