the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
