every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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