My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize