She is in my trunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Randomize
