soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
