the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
