NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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