so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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