You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize