whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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