Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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