I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
