sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
