We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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