You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
