just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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