I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize