This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
